Years before my mom's cancer diagnosis, she told me she wanted people to know the real Julie Rae before she died. A year later I received a three-ring binder filled with her stories, her life - a true labor of love. She told me, "it has been a memorable experience to accomplish this. My determination to keep at it has given me great gratification." This desire to help people be known before they die would become the heart of my work, though I didn't know it yet.

I came to death work after 15 years in business operations, where I spent my days shining light into hidden, opaque places and building collective, clear pathways forward. I believed then what I believe now: when people understand their options, are grounded in the big picture, and come together around something that matters, fear dissolves, agency empowers, and something new and interesting emerges.

I left that career (and the pandemic) seeking aliveness and deeper connection. I spent time in nature learning to slow down with the seasons - a practice that grounds my work today. I completed the Nine Keys death doula training and began volunteering with End of Life Choices Oregon, supporting people through medical aid in dying. I joined BeLoved Hospice, partnering with leadership to build an integrated doula program while serving as a bedside doula. I supported dozens of patients and families - helping them understand the dying process, make meaning of their lives, and turn toward death together.

Then Mom was diagnosed with cancer. I supported her and my father through logistics, medical decisions, emotional processing, and grief. When she died, I gathered my family for ritual and facilitated her memorial service. It was the hardest and most meaningful thing I've ever done.

Today I bring operational expertise, death doula training, and lived experience with loss to this work. I live in Portland with my husband and our frontyard chickens, write poetry, play pickleball with friends, practice morning pages, and find guidance in the wisdom of the seasons. As my relationship with death grows, so does my aliveness. My name is Jessica and I am a death + grief guide.

Blue jae is my offering to you, in honor of my mom Julie Rae. Like the blue jay who fiercely protects its nest and stays present through all seasons, blue jae creates sanctuaries where people can feel safe, seen, and connected as they face life's greatest mystery. I help finalize the paperwork and I light the candle - one foot in the practical, one in the sacred.

Let's turn toward death together and see what emerges.